Alton Fitzgerald White – How the Lion King was Healed
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August 2, 2018
Imagine having the distinction of playing one of our culture’s most identifiable great fathers over a record-breaking 11 years when the experience with your own father was that of an emotionally distant alcoholic. That is precisely what Alton Fitzgerald White has done, having played Mufasa in The Lion King on Broadway and in the Las Vegas show residency, in addition to playing Coalhouse Walker in Ragtime and Mister in The Color Purple. Along that path, he found a way to play the father he wished he had as Mufasa, healing those childhood pains. White details the lessons he garnered from growing up with an alcoholic parent, the healing power of the roles he has played, and the importance of therapy in his book, My Pride (Broadway’s Record-Breaking Lion King): Mastering Life’s Daily Performance, all of which we discussed in a recent interview.
What inspired you to write the book?
After I played the 4,000th performance as Mufasa in The Lion King people kept telling me how “lucky” I was. I’ve never believed in the concept of luck. I believe in preparation, passion, consistency, discipline, those kinds of things. Luck is kind of a backhanded compliment. You have to have the technique, drive and passion to follow through and excel.
I started to write down for myself to remember how much I’ve sacrificed for my passion, missing weekends and family time or relationships. I shared it with a few people who I trusted and they encouraged me to keep writing because they had never seen anything where somebody really broke down what we do as artists, what we sacrifice and what we do to make it look easy in performance. Then I started thinking that maybe this could be my next level of service.
In the book you share openly about your family’s experience with alcoholism. Did you have any reservations about being open about it?
I didn’t because it’s informed so much of my life and continues to do so, including me wanting to be the opposite of what my father was but then becoming an adult myself and having to go through that journey of forgiveness. My father gave me very valuable lessons and I didn’t want to acknowledge that growing up. I didn’t want to give him any credit for anything but I am half of each of my parents. I think that’s the journey that we all have to take as adults at some point.
You also speak openly in the book about having been in psychotherapy. Can you talk about what role that’s played in your own evolution?
Oh, it continues to be a role. I go to therapy every Friday. I first went to therapy because I kept thinking that if I became successful enough, that all my problems will be solved. When I was cast as John in Miss Saigon I thought this is it. I’m going to be a lead on Broadway, I get to be an exception. And I remember the next morning waking up and bursting into tears. I was like, man, I’m never going to get there, I don’t know what it’s going to take for me to feel better. A friend suggested therapy. I started going to deal with my issues with my father. I continued to go to therapy, not because anything is wrong, but just to stay on top. Just to keep going and creating space for new adventures, new opportunities, new feelings, new dreams. It’s something I recommend to everyone, especially actors. After I discovered how healing therapy was for me as an artist, I would highly recommend it any and every cast member in whatever I was doing, especially with it only costing $25 a visit with our insurance. You spend more than that on coffee in a week. You’re worth it to go and sit and talk to someone. It’s a great gift to yourself. The more open we are, the more we can relate that emotion across the stage into the audience. I want to keep going, to keep tapping into the abundance.
Do you think there’s a stigma for men about being in therapy?
There’s a of stigma for men. There’s a sigma for black men and black people. Often when I go to Al-Anon, I’m the only black person there. I’ve learned to not let my embarrassment, my guilt, my whatever be stronger than my desire to heal. Part of what makes my life so beautiful is that I’ve learned to ask for help. All I can do is suggest it and try to be an example, but I’m grateful that I don’t have any shame about it.
You mentioned 12-step recovery. What lessons have you learned from Al-Anon for your personal life and your work life?
I developed my own personal concept of service through Al-Anon. I have an example in the book of this meeting I would go to on Sunday mornings, which was difficult to get to right in the middle of my five show weekend. I would never volunteer for service because I was afraid of the commitment. I thought my life was already full but one time my hand went up and I said, “Yes”. I knew it was on a soul level. My soul had finally outweighed my ego. I remember being nervous about having to speak in front of the crowd and having to find speakers. But I thought, okay, I’ve been in this room long enough. I trust these people, I trust this program, I’m safe here to make mistakes. And the more I did it, the more I started looking forward to it. I started seeing how it started bleeding over to other areas of my life. It took me out of my own head and it gave me that great feeling you get from helping someone. Then it occurred to me that I could re-perceive my career as service.
Did playing Mufasa, who is such a wonderful father figure for so many, feel like service?
Definitely. It was tremendous to be able to play the kind of father that I wish I had, the kind of father that I ultimately have become for myself. I had a really interesting journey with Mufasa when I was first cast. He doesn’t have a lot to do. He’s only in the first act and I wanted to be on stage. So I really struggled with that and then going away and doing other shows and coming back each time, I was able to return with a different kind of maturity and a different kind of stillness. I finally made peace with the fact that Mufasa only has a few lines but it’s really about his presence. Those few lines were chosen very carefully so they don’t need to be overplayed or over-dramatic, just delivered honestly and as simply as possible.
Another aspect of service is that you do your part but you’re not responsible for how anybody receives it. I’ve worked with character actors who played the comic relief and they would get so frustrated when the audience wouldn’t laugh the way they thought they should laugh. I would always think to myself that it’s really none of your business how the audience receives it. It’s your business to go up there and do it.
You just got to give it away and let it go.
Give it away. Here’s an offering. Either you like it or not.
White as Mufasa
Mufasa was so different from your own father. Have you played any roles that felt more representative of your dad and helped you understand him better?
My favorite role so far was playing Mister in The Color Purple. He’s not allowed to live the life that he wants, he’s born one generation too soon. His father was a slave on that land. Now he hands Mister the land, which would be a great thing, but Mister doesn’t want it. There’s a reason why Mister is attracted to Shug [Avery] because Shug is a party girl. She’s living her life fully but he’s been given some responsibilities that he doesn’t want. So it was great to be able to play not just the meanness but also that Mister was hurt and projecting his hurt onto others. That gave me compassion for my father, for black men of his generation coming out of slavery and children of men coming out of slavery who were displaced and didn’t know what to do with this new freedom when they still really weren’t free in so many ways.
What do you hope people take away from reading your book?
I hope people take away the importance of nurturing themselves, learning how to do that and creating space for that. We always say that we’re all busy but if you’re scheduling your life anyway, schedule some time in to meditate, whether your meditation is cooking, running, going to the gym, taking beautiful drives, whatever.
I hope that people remember gratitude. I hope that people question their passions, are they really passionate about what they do for living? And if they’re not passionate about it, but it brings some great resources and provides a great lifestyle for them that they’ll remember other things that they can do.
Why do you think theater matters?
Theater matters because it does provide an escape. Watching movies at home is great but there’s nothing like seeing human beings live, singing, dancing, acting, and to have a collective experience. We’re all experiencing the same thing in this moment. It’s phenomenal for the actors on stage to share it and get that exchange of energy and it’s great when the audience is right there with you and can really receive what we’re giving them.
