Kathryn Gallagher – Portraying Sexual Assault in Jagged Little Pill
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June 28, 2018
(Photo: Joshua Shultz)
There is a new show that is quickly elevating into the pantheon of great mental health musicals. Joining the ranks of such powerful pieces as Next to Normal and Dear Evan Hansen is the new work, Jagged Little Pill. It is currently making it’s world premiere at the esteemed American Repertory Theater in Cambridge, Massachusetts with a score by Alanis Morissette (a few new songs and many familiar ones in new contexts), direction by Diane Paulus (The Gershwins’ Porgy & Bess, Pippin, Finding Neverland, Waitress), book by Diablo Cody (Juno), and choreography by Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui (Beyonce’s 2017 Grammy performance and recently dropped music video). Jagged Little Pill follows a suburban Connecticut family, the Healys, through the travails of daily life, a perfect looking holiday portrait on the outside and crumbling communication on the inside. The show deftly covers important topics of gender identity, the opioid crisis, and sexual assault.
Kathryn Gallagher (Spring Awakening) portrays Bella, a friend of the two Healy adolescents and a mildly troubled teen who endures a rape. The audience first learns that she may have been sexually assaulted by a classmate but that story is disputed and Bella has to navigate the minefield of victim-blaming to try to claim her voice. I recently spoke with Gallagher about the dynamic brilliance of Morissette’s lyrics, exploring messy truths, and the importance of self-care.
What kind of research did you do to prepare to play this character?
When I first read the script, I thought that this feels honest and it didn’t feel sensationalized. And I thought, I know this girl.
I watched a lot of documentaries, including The Hunting Ground, Audrey and Daisy, and I Am Evidence. I Am Evidence is Mariska Hargitay’s documentary on the rape kit backlog. I saw for the first time a year and a half before I was even involved in Jagged Little Pill. One of the survivors tells her story about a rape kit that took 11 years to be processed and eventually got to trial—all the evidence was in her corner, and she still lost. But there’s this beautiful clip of her at the end when she says something to the effect of that, “I didn’t win but now I’m free”. It was just a beautiful moment and that moment helped me so much in the process of finding Bella and understanding what it feels like to expose yourself this way. It’s just such a brave thing to do. For that survivor’s outcome to still be a triumph, and that she sees it as moving the world forward a little bit even though it doesn’t necessarily look like a victory on paper. I Am Evidence is one of the most powerful films because it just is so representative of the systemic disbelief of survivors in the justice system.
Also, something that I love in this musical is that it shows what a big step it is to tell friends and family about sexual assault.
Kathryn Gallagher as Bella (center) in the aftermath of trauma (Photo: Evgenia Eliseeva)
We first hear about the sexual assault to your character from other people’s perspectives. What’s that like for you as Bella to not have control of that narrative being out there?
I think that one of the things I really love about how the show reveals what happened to Bella to the audience is that it echoes real life, where you don’t usually get the story from the source. I think it’s such smart commentary—you’re watching all of these other people have an opinion on what happened to one girl, and what happened to one life. Bella’s life got destroyed, and Bella’s the only person that’s going to be living with this. You see everyone else have their opinions and their thoughts and their take on this story until “No” when Bella steps forward. It does make it harder as an actor. In the beginning of the rehearsal process especially, I would get so frustrated and just feel like everyone should believe Bella. And then I realized, that’s Bella’s frustration, rather than Kathryn’s, and so I used that adjustment in my work.
Bella thinks that she can handle her own pain, and that’s going to be easier, at least in the short term, than defending it to the world. “I know what happened. What does telling the truth even matter? Why does the truth even matter if I’ll spend the rest of my life defending it? Or, I can move on and get over it and be called a slut and deal with it.” I think this debate is something that so many survivors have with themselves. We talk in the show about the fact that Bella is probably not going to win her trial. That’s the reality of the world we’re living in. So as heartbreaking as it is to leave this story in a place that doesn’t feel fully satisfying for Bella, the audience can take away that real-life lesson from the show.
Gallagher as Bella (Photo: Evgenia Eliseeva)
Is the song “No” therapeutic for Bella?
One of the interesting things about it is that it is therapeutic and it is cathartic, but it’s not neat. And that’s what I love about it. It’s not a moment to say, “Well I’m good now” because that wouldn’t feel right. But it is about standing up for yourself and saying, “This is not my shame to feel.” “What part of no do you not understand” is the truth of the situation in the purest form. That question, in and of itself, is so powerful. Alanis’ writing, man, it’s just so good.
There is a brilliant piece of choreography that allows you, as Bella, to watch yourself during the assault with cast member Whitney Sprayberry dancing as your double. What’s that moment like for you as the character?
Hard. One of the things so many survivors talk about is the sense of dissociation. People ask survivors, “Why didn’t you stop him and why didn’t you say no and why didn’t you punch him? Why didn’t you bite him? Why didn’t you fight back?” There’s the science to back it up as survival tactics. I think recognizing that moment of Bella not being able to control her body, not being in her body, it’s heartbreaking but it’s real. I get choked up every time we do it. Every time I watch Whitney [Sprayberry] peel away from me, and the disassociation begins, watching her fall. It’s totally out-of-body. I know that was really important to Larbi [the choreographer] and Diane [Paulus, director] to show that and to visualize that feeling.
Whitney is one of the greatest performers I have ever met. She’s just so smart and so aware and so capable. I feel so lucky to have her be a partner in this performance.
What kind of feedback are you hearing from audiences?
I’m getting a lot of messages on Instagram, a lot people coming up to me after the show. It’s beautiful to hear that this show and this storyline in particular is cathartic for people to see. One of the things that I’ve been hearing a lot is that people have never seen their experience portrayed truthfully, until this play. I think what they’re responding to is that we don’t sensationalize. There’s nothing glossy about Bella. Bella is not a perfect case. She’s promiscuous. She was drunk. There are a million different ways the prosecution could and will attack her. But she said “No.” She wasn’t conscious. She’s rough around the edges so there is that feeling of helplessness. So many survivors are made to believe that their story isn’t the truth, and their truth isn’t real enough, or important enough. And so I think the fact that we show Bella, who’s strong enough to say like, “Fuck you. What part of no do you not understand? This isn’t on me,” is really powerful.
How have you handled responding to people who have seen the show and may share that they are a survivor?
I talked to Diane and we set up a meeting with BARCC, the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center. They came for a two-hour training around how to respond. The biggest takeaway was how important it is to listen. Just listen. I think that’s also probably one of the reasons why the show has been cathartic for people, because it’s just telling our stories. It’s not giving advice. We’re not preaching. We’re just telling the story.
In addition to being prepared to respond to people’s personal stories about abuse, how do you take care of yourself doing such an emotionally taxing role?
Ben [Platt, who originated the role of Evan Hansen in Dear Evan Hansen] is actually one of my best friends. We started doing theater together when we were 11, my first kiss was with him onstage. When I got this role, I was like, okay, who do I talk to you about handling an emotional show? Oh, I know, Ben. This show is not easy. This company, we’re so goofy offstage. We have so much fun. And we have to because if we didn’t, it’d be brutal. Not all companies are like this, and we’re super, super blessed. It trickles down from the creative team, which gave us an environment that was really nurturing and special and wonderful. After the show, I definitely want to go home, watch Seinfeld and cuddle my dog. I have to shake it off and then come back and do it again. I want every performance as Bella to be fresh and I want them all to have their own arc and their own growth and be able to give it everything. It’s good to have that kind of balance.
It is a deplorable fact of our society that at least 1 in 33 males and 1 in 6 women have been the victim of an attempted or completed rape (with statistics as high as 1 in 5 transgender or genderqueer individuals). If you or someone you love believes they have been the victim of sexual abuse, please visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) website for information and resources at https://www.rainn.org/
You can find our more about the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center at https://barcc.org/
