(Photo: Nina Westervelt)
Imagine the surprise of my patients when I tell them that the most important part of my job as their psychologist is my own self-care. The natural confusion comes from the assumption that taking care of others means putting yourself second. But in order to be able to show up for others, you have to be well yourself. If I don’t ensure that I am doing what is necessary to be rested, healthy, and grounded, then I cannot provide the appropriate care for my patients. This is likewise true for folks in any number of roles, including parents, nurses, teachers, etc., in which those individuals are giving of themselves.
Broadway favorite Laura Benanti knows about the importance of boundaries and self-care. She is both a mother and someone living with a compromised immune system; the more people she interacts with, the more likely she is to get sick and then be forced to be out of the show. These tangible risks to her ability to do her job bring into focus the priority of self-care. Benanti recently began the second week of her run as Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady at Lincoln Center. She shared on social media that the theater received feedback from disgruntled attendees that she did not exit through the stage door to greet her fans in person (see below for post). At the outset of her performance schedule, she had shared that, due to her medical issues, she would be unable to “stage door” but would make signed playbills available (gracious and thoughtful). Someone was unhappy.
Here is the thing about self-care and boundaries: people will inevitably be unhappy. When you set a clear boundary (as she did with her social media post), you are creating a clearly visible wall. If people run into that obvious wall, they will be angry. There is no getting around it: self-care will cause someone to be disgruntled. Do it anyway.
It is a shame that someone felt entitled to Benanti’s time, personage, and health. Her response, to maintain her boundaries, to continue to prioritize her self-care, and, not for nothing, to continue to provide her singular take and crystalline voice to audiences in this stunning production is stellar modeling. Follow Benanti’s lead and prioritize your own self-care, in spite of the critics.
If you would like to send a message of support for Laura Benanti’s self-care, you can email Lincoln Center Theater at: Attn: Management, info@lct.org.
Best,
Dr. Drama