(Photo: AP)
The irreverent puppet/human hybrid musical Avenue Q explored how we navigate early adulthood in contemporary times. This loving satire concluded with the song, “For Now”, reminding us that everything is ephemeral and, in that recognition, there is an unburdening.
We are currently standing in one such moment of unburdening. After four long, trying, traumatic years, Donald Trump is no longer President of the United States. There is immense relief in that statement. There is also an opportunity for healing.
It is understood in the field of clinical psychology that while within a trauma, the individual’s resources are focused on surviving. Once the trauma has ended and the person is safe, the processing begins. With that processing can come a new wave of emotions and intensity. I want to prepare us for this part of the experience by talking about the emotions and behaviors you may notice in the coming days now that we are (*relatively) safe from the threat of the last presidency (*while acknowledging that the real threats of transphobia, racism, white nationalism and other forms of hate continue) and practical ways to manage those feelings.
Anxiety/Hypervigilance
Problem: You may find yourself “jumpy”, waiting for the next proverbial shoe to drop. We can see that already in our collective experience of watching the inauguration of President Biden and Vice President Harris, during which many people were bracing for another attack by domestic terrorists at the event. In the coming days of peace, there may be the anticipation of major bad news or the fear that this reality was “too good to be true”.
Solution: Remind yourself that it is, indeed, over. He is gone and normalcy has returned. You are safe from the previous President. Take a deep breath.
Exhaustion
Problem: What we have just concluded has been a marathon of survival. Our autonomic nervous system has prepared us to make it through but at the cost of taxing our energy. Now that it is over, the exhaustion sets in.
Solution: Take care of yourself. Listen to your body. Give yourself permission to just be still. If you are tired, create opportunities to rest. Find ways to recharge your battery.
Guilt
Problem: While you did survive the past four years, many did not. That can leave us with survivor’s guilt, leading to questions of “why me?”
Solution: Acknowledge that there is sometimes randomness to evil and disasters. While there are ways to predictably protect ourselves from harm, there is also harm that has no rhyme or reason. Remind yourself that it is not your fault. If you need further healing, find a way to be part of the solution through volunteering, donating, etc.
High emotionality
Problem: There may be tears. There may be irritability. There may be anger. Because the focus was on survival, some of those emotions had to be pushed down in order to continue making it through and now they are here.
Solution: Honor your feelings. Give them space. Let them out through emoting, talking, writing, dancing or whatever works for you and is safe.
This needs to be a time of national and personal emotional healing. We have been through a lot. We need to give ourselves the space to refuel so that tomorrow, we can continue to fight the good fight for justice and equity.
For now we’re healthy
For now we’re employed
For now we’re happy
If not overjoyed
And we’ll accept the things we cannot avoid, for now